Life Update: Episode 2

Sorry I haven’t been reading any blogs or comments lately. It’s not that I’ve been busy but I’ve been feeling pretty negative these days. A lot of things but I just haven’t been having a good week. How do I become less conscious? How do I become a better worker? How do I love myself more? How do I become more confident?

I try to tell myself “Work harder tomorrow!” and “Tomorrow will be a better day!”

But I have a hard time believing myself.

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Life Update: Episode 1

This last weekend, I was at Sunday school summer camp for my church. I was one of the counselors and we went tenting, which was really hard. The hard ground was really uncomfortable and one of my students is a really violent sleeper. This is also one of the reasons why I haven’t been able to comment on blogs because I was so busy preparing for the camp and then felt super exhausted after I came back (not to mention I had to miss two episodes of W because of it and ended up sleeping at midnight watching 4 episodes of 2 different dramas, haha).

It was my third summer doing camp and this upcoming year will also be my third year I’m doing Sunday school. It’s interesting how my feelings change and progress and I can definitely say that my feelings entering my third year are a lot more positive than my first two. People always say to step outside your comfort zone, especially as someone who is socially awkward and uncomfortable with most social situations.

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The Impostor Syndrome (& Other Things)

This is something I’ve been feeling a lot lately. Maybe it’s because I’m currently on break right now and also because I’m unsatisfied with where I’m at. Over the summer, I’ve been hearing a lot about my fellow cohorts getting jobs in libraries or somewhere that has to do with our degree, library and information science.

It’s hard not to feel the impostor syndrome when you feel like you’re one of the literal few who don’t actually work in libraries, but at a retail store. On top of that I have no experience and am wondering how soon is it going to be “too late”? I start to question – why did they accept me into the program? Aren’t there others who are just as passionate as I am? Or was I just particularly articulate when writing my personal statement? Does this program make me qualified to work in libraries? What if it doesn’t?

Obviously I worry a lot.

I worry about finding an internship and getting paid less (I work full time), which means less money for my dad.

Maybe I’m just worrying too much or feeling too impatient because I feel so much behind my other cohorts.

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