Super short disclaimer: This is is my own personal approach. Something that works for me personally, might not work the same way for everyone else.
These days I’ve been trying to be more positive and that includes voicing less complaints. One thing I realized about myself is that complaining out loud will do nothing to change anything. I also try to consider whether or not I can change a situation before I voice a complaint or not. An example of this might include –
“It’s so cold outside” after standing outside with my sister.
Versus something I could possibly change –
“It’s so cold” after standing inside the store I work where the fans are running.
I realized that even if I complain, complaining doesn’t make anything better. It doesn’t even make me feel better. And after realizing this about myself, I also realized that genuinely voicing compliments does make me feel better, especially if that person genuinely likes the compliment. Another realization is that being and acting more positive is like a happy drug. I feel better about myself and less stressed out about situations I can’t control.
This includes the situation with my dad, which I’ve talked about on my blog before. I now know that simple words aren’t going to change the situation with my dad. He’s stubborn, he enjoys alcoholic drinks far too much and he’s entirely too angry all the time for his and others own good. But will fighting with him do anything? Will complaining about my situation do anything to solve the problem? No it won’t.
However, I do think there is a distinct difference between complaining vs ranting vs venting. I don’t think it’s a good idea to hold back all your negative feelings to yourself. If you need someone to talk to, you should! That isn’t complaining – that’s reaching out to someone for help.
What I can do is focus on what I have to be thankful for. I have an absolutely awesome sister. Not many siblings have the same relationship with their sister I do with mine. My sister is not only related to me by blood but she’s also my best friend. She’s basically my other half. We say this to each other sometimes but I feel like we were given to each other for a reason. There is no way that I would have survived to adulthood with my sister.
I sometimes feel frustrated trying to describe my relationship with my sister because I feel like I can’t explain how grateful that I am to have someone like her in my life.
But I don’t want to become even quieter than I already am. I want to put actions where my words can’t. Another realization (on top of all the other realizations I’ve made) is that sometimes you can be extremely quiet with words like I am, but that doesn’t mean that not speaking makes you a quiet person.
You can be loud without saying anything.
Thanks for reading!